Friday, November 29, 2013
Sunday, November 24, 2013
Life can turn on a dime,for the better!!~~***
Hi, It takes a bit to think about what I will write. Now so many are reading this & thankfully are in touch with me. Writing this as I have written over 200 journals over the past 40 years... Only have 6 now,but the memories are still in my head! There are people from my life,who read this now,Doctors,Therapist's,Dentists,and friends & family. It is easier for me to write this"Letter" from home,so I don't have to re-explain what has happened over the past many years. The past 3 were rough,being homeless,because others didn't want to continue keeping a home,as we had for 40 years. It became a struggle for me to keep my sanity,and humanness... I had to let go of so many over the years,because of selfish controlling People,that were once decent yet took the "easy"-sleaze way of life. They blame their mis-fortune on me & others,rather then taking responsibility,for Their words,deeds and actions. The sad part,is the children who were involved,that I helped to raise,teach,love,guide,even with severe depression,PTSD,etc.Are the victims in this,and there is a wall as long as the great wall of China,keeping me away,because it is safer that way for all... I am thankful to be able to spend time with my Grand kids,who missed a lot of my time,while I was in other parts of the country.
In my old school days,there were no 800--help me lines to call. you shut up & kept living.You had to pretend to be a happy kid,no matter what was going on. people didn't want to talk about problems,ranging from peoples mental illness,sickness like Cancer(my Grandma died of it back in 1967),they wrote on her Death certificate,she died of "natural causes"". That was bull-crap,her body was wiped out by uterine cancer,yet the last year she lived,we became friends & we laughed a lot.
Point is,it was a world for me,that you asked questions yet many times were not giving an answer,or the wrong ones,sometimes. I was lucky to have a Grandpa,who tried hard to teach me good things take me to fun places,like Yankee Stadium,with my brothers J&J!!,and make amends for his early life(which I only learned a couple of years ago,from someone I love...)
My Mom,had a lot of problems,yet she was a kind & creative soul,when she later became addicted to Dexedrine 15 mg(Smith-Kline& French) She could buy them over the counter,later they passed laws,you had to have a prescription. My other Brothers & sister,paid a heavy price. We were separated for years... I have a brother Mark,that I never found out what happened to him. I am the oldest,and have always loved my little brothers,and later my sister who is a Minister.We had a rough start,yet I'm thankful we all made it(except our brother Jeffrey,who passed back when he was only 18.) I still have the Crucifix That my brother Joey gave me,from the coffin. A day never went by that I didn't say a prayer for all of them,and myself...
I have lived as a Jew,converted to Catholic,follow Buddhist and Hindu ways. Practicing healing good majick,for protection to help others & this world.Always trying to help others in whatever way I can. I'm a survivor of many tragic things,yet keeping my humor & humanity,integrity and dignity. School hopefully in spring,for mixed-media,to help me be a better writer & person!!!!
So if Didn't finish that review or get back to ya,know I had to take care of myself,it's a blessing having my daughter Jasmine & the rest of our family,being there & having their love and support. Slowly others from my past,have been found like long-lost happy treasure.! Thanks for being there to give me sound advice & reality checks,when needed,and for your support for me as a person & writer!!!!!! I'm working on my first e-book of poems & photos,done over years! be well & happy will be back soon!!~~~***** OXOXOXd
In my old school days,there were no 800--help me lines to call. you shut up & kept living.You had to pretend to be a happy kid,no matter what was going on. people didn't want to talk about problems,ranging from peoples mental illness,sickness like Cancer(my Grandma died of it back in 1967),they wrote on her Death certificate,she died of "natural causes"". That was bull-crap,her body was wiped out by uterine cancer,yet the last year she lived,we became friends & we laughed a lot.
Point is,it was a world for me,that you asked questions yet many times were not giving an answer,or the wrong ones,sometimes. I was lucky to have a Grandpa,who tried hard to teach me good things take me to fun places,like Yankee Stadium,with my brothers J&J!!,and make amends for his early life(which I only learned a couple of years ago,from someone I love...)
My Mom,had a lot of problems,yet she was a kind & creative soul,when she later became addicted to Dexedrine 15 mg(Smith-Kline& French) She could buy them over the counter,later they passed laws,you had to have a prescription. My other Brothers & sister,paid a heavy price. We were separated for years... I have a brother Mark,that I never found out what happened to him. I am the oldest,and have always loved my little brothers,and later my sister who is a Minister.We had a rough start,yet I'm thankful we all made it(except our brother Jeffrey,who passed back when he was only 18.) I still have the Crucifix That my brother Joey gave me,from the coffin. A day never went by that I didn't say a prayer for all of them,and myself...
I have lived as a Jew,converted to Catholic,follow Buddhist and Hindu ways. Practicing healing good majick,for protection to help others & this world.Always trying to help others in whatever way I can. I'm a survivor of many tragic things,yet keeping my humor & humanity,integrity and dignity. School hopefully in spring,for mixed-media,to help me be a better writer & person!!!!
So if Didn't finish that review or get back to ya,know I had to take care of myself,it's a blessing having my daughter Jasmine & the rest of our family,being there & having their love and support. Slowly others from my past,have been found like long-lost happy treasure.! Thanks for being there to give me sound advice & reality checks,when needed,and for your support for me as a person & writer!!!!!! I'm working on my first e-book of poems & photos,done over years! be well & happy will be back soon!!~~~***** OXOXOXd
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
The process of thought,in space & time...
If you ask me what I think of our world,it would take hours to even scratch the surface on! I wrote once in my journal: "It's hard enough living life some-days,without having to process the experience then expound upon it as well..."
I feel as a PTSD survivor that I have come a very long way in doing my best to improve myself & make the world better for others.
It is hard to do much writing at this time,because am still overwhelmed by recent past events. Yet I am trying to be as alive as possible,because I'm finally happy at home & really loved and respected.OXOXO~~~****^^^^^
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I am sorting out many writing projects,I have been trying to complete for decades. Most of my books are lost to the sad sick Sands of time. Be that as it may,I am slowly working towards getting books ready to be published in the hopefully near future!
On my writing.com/dddreamcat page you can see the seeds of my thoughts start to take wing into articles,stories,self-help etc.
As the Chinese said long ago"May you live in interesting times: both a blessing & a curse."
I love this scene! In time a copy going on my wall!! tee hee have a good one Y'all,thanx for hanging in there with me/us oxoxoxoxoxo
I feel as a PTSD survivor that I have come a very long way in doing my best to improve myself & make the world better for others.
It is hard to do much writing at this time,because am still overwhelmed by recent past events. Yet I am trying to be as alive as possible,because I'm finally happy at home & really loved and respected.OXOXO~~~****^^^^^
******************************
I am sorting out many writing projects,I have been trying to complete for decades. Most of my books are lost to the sad sick Sands of time. Be that as it may,I am slowly working towards getting books ready to be published in the hopefully near future!
On my writing.com/dddreamcat page you can see the seeds of my thoughts start to take wing into articles,stories,self-help etc.
As the Chinese said long ago"May you live in interesting times: both a blessing & a curse."
I love this scene! In time a copy going on my wall!! tee hee have a good one Y'all,thanx for hanging in there with me/us oxoxoxoxoxo
Monday, November 18, 2013
It's been awhile since I was able to write here. I have been working on other things,some writing projects that I had to put off. Now am stable & away from those who have very big issues... There have been 2 deaths on Kim's other side,and she went to deal with all that. I'm very happy these days and working on(as the I-Ching wrote:) Work on what has been spoiled. sometimes in life we think our family,friends ETC are working towards the same goals. Other times we realize that we are doing the same things and not getting further with our life... I have tried hard to help some folks,that did not want my help,except what they wanted or needed at the time. It was very hard,because some people will "make you choose what they want" But say it is in the "best interest" of whom they are supposed to be helping. If someone says you should cut off ties with people you love,you should be careful about what you do... If you are wrong you can lose touch with some you never thought you ever would. There are some I had to let go of for the sake of my own sanity. It's hard when you love & it gets turned on you,in the way of manipulating people who come into your life once as friends,then grow to be abusive and users. Now I can love whom I want to!
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